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What The Bible Has To Say About Divorce

 

1. If the readers desire to have a part in the Lord's work as soul workers, it would be great for them to begin their own tract ministry by down loading our messages and send or give copies to others. What could be more important for you as an ambassador for Christ than to support the Body of Christ in this way? The messages are already written, so why not pass them on to others?

2. As to the writers belief and doctrine, we are strictly Biblical! We adhere to no denominational beliefs unless what they teach is taken from the true Word of God and taught in the correct context. We believe that we are to be busy proclaiming the truths for the present age of grace, in view of the soon coming of our Lord.

3. The reader will notice that we have put words in parenthesis in the various Bible verses, this is done to help the student have a better understanding of the old King James language which is often a little bewildering to some folks who are not use to that kind of speech. Therefore, please bear with us as we teach the message.

4. A good idea would be to read your Bible along with each verse we have quoted. It is also very important, for the student to look up all the added Bible texts that we have referred to in the Message. This will give the reader much added information! Another thing we should mention is that when we copy a verse from the Bible we will change much of the spelling from the archaic king James language to the modern way of spelling, such as ... "searcheth to searches, thy to your, standeth to stands, knoweth to knows, maketh to makes, nay to no, bringeth to bring or brings, hath to has or have, saith to says, doeth to does, wherefore to therefore, thee to the, justifieth to justify, helpeth to help, liveth to lives, ever to always and etc. None of this will take away from the true meaning of the original text."

5. {V.3} Scripture, "The Pharisees also came to Him, tempting Him [putting Him to the test], and saying to Him, is it lawful [and right] for a man to put away [dismiss, repudiate and divorce] his wife for [any and every] cause?

6. [Tempting Him ... I.e; testing Him. For every cause? The Rabbis were divided on what were legitimate grounds for divorce. The followers of Shammai held that a man could not divorce his wife unless he found her guilty of sexual immorality. The followers of Hillel were more lax, allowing divorce for many, including trivial reasons].

7. {V.4} And He answered and said to them, have you not read, that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female,

8. {V.5} And said, for this cause shall a man leave Father and Mother [and shall be united firmly], and shall cleave [that is, joined inseparably] to his wife: and they "too" shall be one flesh? {See Genesis 1:27; - & - 2:23-24}.

[Rather than aligning Himself with either rabbinical position, Jesus cites the purpose of God in creation that husband and wife should be one flesh ... the oneness of kinship or fellowship with the body as the medium, causing marriage to be the deepest physical and spiritual unity].

9. {V.6} Therefore they are no more "two," but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.

10. {V.7} They said to him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing [certificate] of divorcement [thus to dismiss and repudiate a wife], and to put her away? {See Deuteronomy 24:1-4}.

11. {See also Matthew 5:32}. ... Saving (except) for the cause of fornication. See {Matthew 19:3-9; Mark 10:2-12; - & - Luke 16:18} for the Lord's teaching on divorce {see 1- Corinthians 7:10-11}. It is disallowed except for fornication, which may mean (1) ... adultery, (2) ... unfaithfulness during the period of betrothal {see Matthew 1:19}, or (3) ... marriage between near relatives {Leviticus Ch. 18]."

12. {V.8} He said to them, Moses because of the hardness [stubbornness and perversity] of your hearts suffered [permitted] you to [dismiss, repudiate, divorce and] put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so [ordained].

13. [Suffered = permitted. Moses made a concession with regard to Jehovah's intention that marriage should be lifelong and monogamous]. {Again, see Deuteronomy 24:1-4}.

14. {V.9} And I say to you, whoever shall [dismiss, repudiate, divorce and] put away his wife, "except" it be for fornication [unchastity], and shall marry another, commits adultery: and whoever marries her [a divorced woman] which is put away does commit adultery, {Matthew 19:3-9}." Scripture ...

15. {V.10} "And to the married [folks] I command [give charge], yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 16. {V.11} But and if she [does] depart [separates and divorces him], let her remain [single and] unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away [or divorce] his wife.

17. [According to both Christ's and Paul's teachings {See Mark 10:1-12}, Believers should not divorce. Sometimes when a mate is converted and becomes an ardent Christian, the ungodly companion rebels and a divorce takes place. If separation does occur, what should the Christian do? The Believer must remain unmarried permanently unless his or her mate had committed adultery. After a separation, If the two are estranged for other reasons than fornication, the Christian, should try to restore the home with the mate].

18. {V.12} But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: if any brother has a wife that believes not [in the Lord Jesus Christ], and she is [content and] pleased to dwell with him, let him [continue to live with her and] not put her away.

19. {V.13} And the woman which has a husband that believes not [does not believe that Christ is the Saviour and the Lord], and if he is pleased to dwell with her, let her not [divorce or] leave him.

20. [These verses deal with marriages in which one partner becomes a Believer after the marriage has taken place. "Speak I, not the Lord. I.e; Christ did not teach anything concerning spiritually mixed marriages, but Paul does, and his teaching is authoritative].

21. {V.14} For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the [consecrated] wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the [Christian] husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. [to paraphrase this verse, let us put it this way: ...

22. [The word "sanctified" in the above verse means that the presence of a Believer in the home sets the home apart and gives it a Christian influence it would not otherwise have. A believing partner, therefore, should stay with the unbeliever. However, this does not mean that children born into such a home are automatically Christians just because a parent is. They are holy in the sense of being set apart by the presence of the one believing parent.

23. "For the unbelieving husband is set apart [separated, and withdrawn from heathen contamination and affiliated with Christian folks] by union with his consecrated [set apart] wife; and the unbelieving wife is set apart and separated through union with her consecrated husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean [unblessed heathen, outside the Christian promises to them from Christ Jesus], but as it is they are prepared for God the Father --- pure and clean].

24. {V.15} But if the unbelieving [partner actually] depart, let him [or her] depart. A [remaining] brother or a sister is not under bondage [not morally bound] in such cases: but God has called us to peace.

[Notice the word "depart" in the verse, If the unbelieving partner chooses to separate the Believer must accept the separation, though everything should be done to prevent it. Nothing is said here about a second marriage for a Believer].

25. {V.16} For what do you know, O wife, whether you shall [convert] save your husband [to Christ]? or how do you know, O an, whether you shall [be able to convert] save your wife [to the Lord]? {1- Corinthians 7:10-16}."

26. Divorce has rapidly increased in America until now approximately one marriage in two ends in divorce. Since the return of the service men in World War two, the rate has increased. In one large city in 1975 there was 6000 marriages and 8000 divorces. This might give the reader an idea of the lives that are being wrecked in this age. Among the reasons for this increase of divorces are a decrease of the influence of the Bible and Bible standards of living. A decrease in sexual morality, the feminist movement with its emphasis on the independence of women. And, the increase in the percentage of people who came into adulthood and marriage without any discipline in the home. And of course, without inculcated respect for authority.

27. Because of the strict position of the Catholic Church in areas which are largely Catholic, the percentage of divorce is less. In areas where Protestants predominate, the percentage of divorce is higher. New York State recognized only one legitimate cause for divorce, adultery; other states allow divorce for varying cause, some of them for drunkenness, none- support, desertion, mental cruelty, and even "incompatibility." Many divorces today are caused by the liberal woman's movement which completely ignore the Biblical rights of the husband in the home. These ladies fail to comprehend many of the following Scriptures as being for their own personal welfare: "{Ephesians 5:22-24; Colossians 3:18; Titus 2:4-5; - & - 1- Peter 3:1, 5-6}."

28. When folks are converted and set out to live according to the standards of the Bible, divorces decrease. The above text in {Matthew 19:3-9}, which was expressed by the Lord Jesus, and also what the Apostle Paul stated, sum up the Biblical position on divorce. The Bible teaches that marriage should never be broken except by death. The only legitimate reason for divorce is fornication, and Christian's can remedy a wrecked marriage and still gain happiness if they really wish to, they can renew marital love. The home where there is disagreement, quarreling, broken vows, abuse, and even hatred, can be made into a happy home by the grace of God.

 

Marriage Is A Life Time Contract; And Should Never Be Broken

29. In the teaching of the Lord Jesus on the question of marriage and divorce, - several plain facts stand out that should never be forgotten.

30. The couple enters into a marriage contract voluntarily leaving father and mother and all else. The husband is to "cleave to his wife and vice versa." In Bible times, divorces were only on the initiative of husbands. There is no record of woman divorcing their husbands, actually woman had little or no place in the commercial world, no way to make a living, and naturally clung to their homes. Jesus said in {Matthew 19:5}, quoting from {Genesis 2:24}, Scripture ...

31. "... For this cause shall a man leave [his] father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they two shall be one flesh."

32. [Therefore, marriage means the honest forsaking of all others, and a man should stay with his wife. Any marriage should necessarily be a life long commitment]. What the above verse means is when the marriage has taken place, the man and wife actually have become one person. Scripture ...

33. {V.21} And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and [while] he slept: and He took one of his [Adams] ribs, and closed up the flesh instead [of replacing the rib] thereof;

[The first surgery ever performed on man was performed by Jehovah God Himself].

34. {V.22} And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man [He built up and], made He a woman, and brought her to the man.

35. {V.23} And Adam said, this [female creature] is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man, {Genesis 2:21-23}."

36. God could have made woman without Adam's rib, but God thus chose to symbolize the fact that a man and his wife are one flesh. Literally, the bodies of children are of the same flesh and blood and genes of their parents. This is one reason why near relatives should shy away from marrying each other. Close blood ties can cause deformities in their Children from such entanglements.

37. In normal and happy marriages, man and wife also become a part of each other in a spiritual sense so that breaking the marriage is like rending the body apart. In their thoughts, customs, aims, enjoyment, hopes, and interests, the two of them should believe alike in family matters, but whether they agree with each other all the time or not, the man and wife still become one. This necessarily means that the mating should be a prolonged lifetime achievement. Naturally, we all understand the fact that, when opposites marry, there is often friction in the family until they finely come to some type of an understanding. Should this continually occur, it is always possible that divorce will follow.

 

A Permanent Seal Has Been placed Upon Every Marriage By The Lord God Himself

38. When the Lord places the seal on a marriage it becomes officially binding according to His will. This does not mean that all marriages are meant to take place. Many folks have no right to marry because both had divorces that God did not sanction, or because one is a Christian and the other is not, or because the motives back of the marriage are not honest motives and the vows are not sincerely taken. I repeat, there are countless marriages that should never have taken place. But, whether the marriage is the right thing to do or not, good or bad, God Himself places His seal upon it and joins the husband and wife together by making the marriage a binding contract. In that sense all marriages are made in Heaven, at least made binding in Heaven.

39. Jesus stated ... "What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder." A wife who has made up her mind for a divorce often says, "I really don't believe that my marriage was meant to be, in the sight of the Lord. I didn't really love my husband. We certainly were not meant to spend the rest of our life together." Naturally that excuse is a poor excuse, and you can be sure of one thing, the Lord will not accept it. The marriage is binding, the husband and wife have been joined together and is a permanent covenant. Elsewhere Scripture teaches that the Marriage is to be binding until the death of one of the mates.

40. Scripture, "The wife is bound by the law [to her husband] as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord [that is, if he is also a Christian], {1- Corinthians 7:39}."

41. [After one's mate dies, God gives the privilege of marrying again. But all marriages is intended to be a life time contract broken only by death]. Divorce For Drunkenness, Desertion, None- Support, Cruelty, Or Incompatibility Is Wicked And Forbidden In The Word Of God.

42. In Old Testament times, Moses, because of the hardness of the people's hearts [minds], allowed a man to give his wife a writing of divorcement and send her away. But from the beginning - the Lord did not intend this to take place. God meant for them to stay together until the death of one of the mates. Jesus made clear that, divorce would never be sanctioned except for the cause of fornication. A man may be cruel to his wife and children, he may beat one or all of them, he may lose his money by gambling and drinking, and waste it away on other things. He may keep his family in poverty, but even though all of this is wicked in the Lord's sight, yet his wife has no right to divorce him. A woman may be a shrew, her home may be disorderly and dirty, yet her husband has no right to divorce her on any such ground. Mankind is a race of evil sinners.

43. Any man who marries obviously is aware that the woman he marries has faults. Every woman who marries should certainly realize that she is marrying a frail human being like herself. All woman who marry drunkards are bound to find themselves tide to men who are self destructive and very selfish by nature. Homes in which Christ is not taken as Saviour and Lord and in which He is not followed lovingly and loyally, is likely to be made into a hell on earth. But no one should ever marry who does not accept the hazards involved and plan to keep the vows that he or she makes. It must be recognized that at the marriage alter, to love, cherish and honor ones mate "until death do they part, is a promise to the Lord and to each other."

44. Should folks therefore, accept the honest position that marriage is to be dissolved only by death, you can be sure that many of them would think twice before getting married. Many of them would also be wise enough to avoid carnality before marriage that might ruin their happiness in the future. It must be understood and recognized that marriage is not to be broken for any reason other then for the act of fornication. In fact, the Scriptures indicates that no divorce is recognized by the Lord unless one of the mates has been guilty of fornication. A couple divorced on unscriptural grounds, is still regarded as married in God's sight.

45. Scripture, "And I say to you, whoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, commits adultery, and whoever marries her which is put away does commit adultery, {Matthew 19:9}."

46. A married person in taking another wife or husband commits adultery because he is already married. And Jesus said, "Who ever marries her which is put away does commit adultery." When a man takes a divorced woman, whose marriage was not because of fornication, he is taking another mans wife. God still counts the marriage binding until it is broken by fornication. So no one should ever plan to get a divorce for drunkenness, none support, cruelty, desertion, incompatibility, or for any reason other than adultery, which is also called fornication.

 

Fornication Breaks The Marriage, And Allows Divorce

47. [3]... When Jesus said there should be no divorce "except it be for fornication." The word for fornication in the Greek is "Porneia," and is the term for whoredom. This word, has the same root as does the word for whoremonger and the word for harlot. So what Jesus meant to say was unless the wife played the harlot, or unless the husband was a whoremonger, divorce should not be sought nor granted.

48. Adultery and fornication are the same act. Some people have thought that adultery was a sin of married people, and fornication the sin of unmarried people. But that is not an accurate classification. Adultery, to be sure, is a term usually used about married people, but not always. For example, in the ten commandments "You shall not commit adultery," covers all sexual sin. No intelligent person would say that the ten commandments forbids immorality on the part of married people, but does not rebuke the same sin by unmarried people. In the Bible, the word adultery is used for a single act of illegitimate intercourse, while the word fornication is used for a course of whoredom or harlotry.

49. Therefore, the way we understand the words of the Lord, He is making clear that if a wife has gone into a course of harlotry and cannot be reclaimed to purity and fidelity to her husband, the husband has a right to divorce. Naturally, we also believe that the same principle is true about a wife divorcing her husband who is a fornicator, that is, a whoremonger, a habitual sinner.

50. Many Ministers believe that if a woman has fallen into adultery, the husband should, if he possibly can, forgive and reclaim his wife. Also they teach that if a husband is tempted and commits the act of adultery, the wife if she can, forgive him, win back his love and devotion, if possible, and his fidelity to the marriage vows. According to these teachers, the wife should hang on to her husband. In fact, though the Lord Jesus permits a divorce for fornication, He does not require it. The Lord never commanded nor is there any statement in the Bible that a marriage necessarily ought to be broken for any sin or any cause. The Lord permits divorce for fornication, that is, whoredom, by one of the mates, but He does not command it.

51. It seems obvious that a persistent course of harlotry or whore mongering robs a marriage of its essential meaning and beauty. Sad and tragic as a divorce always is, a child of God is permitted to seek a divorce if the mate is definitely committed to a course of immorality and sexual sin. But what is a Christian to do if he or she has a mate who departs and will never again live with them? The answer to this question isn't difficult to find in our Bible.

52. It is true, a Christian should not marry an unsaved person but if they are already married, the marriage should never be broken. The Christian should remain with their unsaved mate for the children's sake., and the children of such a marriage are legitimate. But what if a parted mate marries another? Often this question arises when a marriage has ended and when the divorce was not based upon fornication. Suppose a husband has left his wife, or suppose that years ago they quarreled, with either or both to blame and they got a divorce though it was not on Scriptural grounds. Also suppose the husband has married another woman.

53. What should his former wife do? Is she free? Should she count herself divorced? The answer is yes! When a man marries again, or lives with another woman, that in itself is adultery, "fornication," and it is enough to brake the former marriage. In such a case a wife should count herself divorced and count her marriage broken by fornication, since he who was her husband is now a husband of another by common law.

54. So the husband, on taking another wife when the first marriage had not ended because of fornication, committed adultery, that, of course, would end the former marriage. If the first marriage was not broken before one mate remarried, it would be broken as soon as one mate remarried and started living with another companion. Fornication is the only Bible ground for divorce, but one does have the right to a divorce on Biblical grounds!

We have stated that a wife should almost at any cost, stay with her husband. But, what I am going to say now may sound like I am contradicting myself. I personally believe that should a carnal husband molest his children, then the dirty rascal should be divorced immediately and prosecuted for his crime. Prison is the only place for an animal such as a man like that. Such a man as this should never be trusted again with any family where children are present. Naturally what I have said is from the mind of this writer and not from the Word of God. On the other hand, even incest with a family member is an act of fornication thus, again, divorce is permitted Biblically!

 

If At All Possible, One Should Never End A Second Marriage!

55. The second marriage has broken the first. God Himself holds the second marriage binding. To break it would do no good, but would do great harm. Many people, even Christians, have the tragedy of divorce in their past. A person, such as a Christian woman who I know of, either married a divorced person, or were themselves divorced and married again before their conversion.

Some denominations teach that it is a sin for a wife or husband to be involved in a second marriage. The question is, can God be pleased as long as the second marriage is maintained? This is a serious question, the answer, according to God's Word is this: "do not break up the second marriage," two wrongs never made a right. It would be impossible to restore the first marriage as it once was, the Bible does not commend it, even if it were possible. Confess the sins of the past, but do not sin again by another divorce.

56. Here is an answer to the inquiry of a troubled Christian woman: "you married a divorced man, you say, 20 years ago. Five years ago you were saved and have been earnestly living for Christ ever since. Now some preachers say that if you continue as the wife of this man you should not take the Lord's supper. You ask my counsel ... I will answer the question to your problem prayerfully, the best I can. It is the same problem others have. "My conclusion, backed up by the Bible, is this:

57. You should continue as the wife of your husband. The past is gone and cannot be undone. It would be an additional sin for you to quit your husband, or to refuse to live with him as his wife. Your husband is likewise married to you and has no other wife, the past is gone, he cannot change it. His former wife is no longer his wife, to break the present marriage would be a sin. If you are now living for the Lord in the best way you know how, then you have a perfect right to go on and serve the Lord, and if you have a desire to take the Lord's supper, you have just as much right to do so as anyone else! You also have the right to perform any Christian work proper for a devout and consecrated woman, for you may be prepared and equipped to do so. {Read Matthew 19:9} over : again and again. Scripture ...

58. {V.1} "When a man has taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes, because he has found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.

59. {V.2} And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.

60. {V.3} And if the latter husband hate her, and write a bill of divorcement, and give it [to her] in her hand, and sends her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife;

61. {V.4} Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is [an] abomination before the Lord: and you shall not cause the land to sin, which the Lord your God gives you for an inheritance {Deuteronomy 24:1-4}." Note the following facts from the above Scripture:

62. [1] "Divorce means exactly the same in both the Old and the New Testament. But in the New, Christ gives the clear law that divorce is wrong for any cause except for fornication. This passage proves that fornication breaks the vows of marriage and gives the right for divorce. When divorce has taken place on this Bible ground, the marriage is broken entirely, and the parties are free to marry again. In such a case, a person who has been divorced and is remarried, does not have two mates, as people sometimes mistakenly teach.

63. [2] The husband of a second wife is her mate, and the husband of the first marriage is her "former mate," the Bible states.

It is equally clear, specifically from {Deuteronomy 24:4}, that when a marriage has been broken, and one of the parties has married again and lived with another mate, the wife may not go back to her first husband, "for that is an abomination before the Lord."

 

Should Divorced People Marry Again?

64. [1] Scriptural divorce gives one the right to remarry. The idea of some Christians that one has a right to divorce, but should remain single thereafter and never remarry, has no warrant in Scripture. Those who are divorced on Bible grounds are really divorced, they are positively single again, they are unmarried, and unbound completely.

65. [2] No person should marry a second time unless the marriage is broken by fornication or the death of ones mate. If as we have stated, if one divorces for any other reason then the above, and remarries, then they are committing adultery, and are also causing the second mate to also commit adultery {See 1- Corinthians 7:10-11}. In case of divorce by adultery, the remaining mate always has the right to remarry.

66. There are those who believe that the innocent party has a right to remarry but that the guilty party ought to be barred from remarriage. But what they have in mind is punishment of the guilty party. And they are basing their judgment on their own interpretation and are not necessarily going on what the Bible has to say. There is no doubt that the one who breaks the marriage contract is guilty of a horrible sin. That is, if this person is guilty of adultery, and is therefore, violating their marriage vows and all the decencies of the love that they once had for their mate. Then according to these folks they must stay single from then on.

67. The wayward mate has grievously dishonored themselves and sinned against the Lord. On the other hand, there isn't any law that a murderer, or an alcoholic, a blasphemer, or even a thief cannot marry. The truth is, no person or groups of the populous have any right to add laws such as this where the Lord doesn't sanction them. It is indeed wrong to teach that even though a marriage is broken because of carnality which is produced by adultery, should, for the rest of their lives, never remarry! There are different circumstances as all should know, in every action concerning each and every separation between married couples.

68. Certainly the adulteress individual would be a very poor risk if the former mate found him or her untrustworthy. The mate in the second marriage may never find their new mate faithful, and even if they are faithful, will there likely be some doubt in their minds? When a marriage has ended and divorce has taken place, naturally it has been broken by both mates. The Bible doesn't require the parties who are now set free from their former mate and are now unmarried, to remain unmarried.

69. Should fornicators who haven't any respect for the Lord's law concerning marriage while they are married, blame anybody except themselves when divorce takes place? Who could possibly expect either of the parties to remain single now in deference to the Lord's Word? We do not find any Scripture where the Lord has commanded a divorced mate to remain unmarried after a marriage has ended because of adultery. No doubt, divorced folks are a bad risk , and should be very careful about getting married the second time. This writer has questioned many divorced people and has found that some of them have been remarried as much as eight times, and are still not all that old. How many times will these folks remarry in their future life time?

70. All parties should weigh carefully the great responsibilities of marriage and the dangers involved in these marriages. A divorced person should think it over several times before getting involved in another marriage. In nearly every case where a home is broken, both parties are partially responsible. It is rare, if ever, that a marriage fails when one party did all that he or she ought to have done to keep the marriage intact and to make the home happy and successful. The truth is, all divorced folks just as well accept it as a fact, that they have failed to prove themselves adequate to hold the respect, love and loyalty of a mate. As we have stated, "One who is divorced should realize that anyone who thinks of remarrying a divorced person who has failed in a former marriage relationship is definitely a poor risk!

71. Each person involved has taken this solemn vow, "Until death do us part," but in some fashion failed to live up to that vow. They had love and happiness in their grasp, and then let it all fade from view, it just slipped away from them. No matter how we question divorce, we must think about the outcome, about the ramifications involved, is it the right thing for us to do? Can we really make a go of it? Are we really serious, and will our mate stick to the vows he or she has taken? Is there really honest and true love involved in this marriage, or, is it just because of lust for the gratification of the flesh. Is it just for a short period of companionship, or is it for the rest of our lives?

72. All those who have divorced in the past are likely to divorce again. The mate who has failed to make the former mate happy will more then likely be the cause for the next mate to be unhappy. The trouble is, there are some people that are never satisfied with what they have, they always want more of everything and are continually keeping themselves in debt. This alone is one of the greatest causes or unhappiness in a marriage. The management of personal property and ones wealth is an equal priority for both parties, not just for one of them.

73. There are times that one of the couple is a good administrator in the home. If both people are conservative and can balance their finances and keep them in order, this will be one of the main things that will keep the family together. If one person is a good manager and can keep the family budget in good order, things can still be adequate and manageable, and the family can still be happy. But what if neither one of the mates can manage their property? In that case only chaos follows and eventually divorce can follow.

74. What about the people who are good providers as long as they have the finances to provide with? Maybe neither one can adequately manage even though they are good workers. They spend money on meals eaten in restaurants, they have to drive a late model car or truck and probably both. They have to buy the best and perhaps the most expensive type of food items. They have to purchase many snacks to snake on between meals. They must go on trips they cannot afford. They use credit cards, and are continually in debt. Bills go unpaid, and if they were to make double the income their neighbors make they are constantly broke and can not live according to their minutes needs. If these folks were wise, they perhaps should seek out a wiser trustworthy family member to handle their finances for them.

75. These people can never be happy! They are never satisfied. They will eventually get to hate each other, and then, divorce. After the divorce, the same thing will probably take place, they will remarry and make their next mate just as unhappy as they did the last mate. So life goes on for them but never true happiness! A man who fails to be the head of the home, to earn the respect and loyalty of one wife, is likely to fail again with a second or third wife. Any woman who marries a divorced man, or any man who marries a divorced woman, is entering a marriage that is definitely handicapped. Only after prayer, resolution, and most assuredly repentance, should a divorced person enter marriage. There are many problems to consider ...

76. First, there is often children from a former marriage. Such children are usually very unhappy because they no longer have their real father or mother to love and console them. Unhappy and disenchanted children are a source of strife and unhappiness in many homes, but in a home of a new step father or step mother, it divides the remarried parents a great deal more than other wise. Much of the time, children will ignore and disobey step parents, they can and sometimes will, completely rebel and cause disharmony in the home.

77. Second, there is necessarily, and even properly, shame connected with divorce. Never should one think that he can flaunt the opinions of a civilized world and not pay the penalty for it. Never should you think that you can discard your former mate and appear guiltless before the world after having made solemn vows to take that mate for the rest of your life. There will be people in your own family, and even more people in the family of in-laws that will look down on you for what you have done to your mate, and especially for what is happening to your unhappy children.

78. Even the so-called "innocent party" to a divorce necessarily inherits part of the blame. People properly feel that if the wife had honorably loved and obeyed her husband and made him happy, he would not have gone after other women. Naturally the same thing applies to the husband. If among Christian people, there is no such thing as having a divorce and not feeling some odium attached to it, particularly is this true in the Assemblies. In many denominations, preachers feel that a divorced person has no right to active participation, either as preachers, teachers, or other offices in Church affairs.

79. Most who earnestly contend against divorce, but who do not think through the problem from the Scriptural viewpoint perhaps, may say that those who have married divorced persons are "living in adultery," though the Scripture does not say that. Too much of the time is spent judging the other person instead of ones own self. So let anyone who is divorced and is thinking of remarrying, or anyone who plans to marry a divorced person, seriously consider the odium and the dangers involved in such a marriage.

80. One had better go slow and prayerfully consider every thing before remarrying. In many cases folks would be much happier to remain single and find God's blessing wonderfully adequate to fill the heart with love, joy and service. It can be a real problem to marry without remembering the bondage of marriage wherein one had once suffered a failure and shame. If there are children in the family, consider their welfare and happiness. God's plan is that each child should have one father and one mother. A serious wound is made in the personality of any child who does not have both a father and a mother, particularly if this lack is connected in his own mind with something shameful or hateful. By the divorce of parents, a child's happiness is greatly impaired, and often his or her character as well.

81. Delinquent children usually come from broken homes, and much of the time children believe that their parents divorce was the children's fault. The parents who divorces is more likely to see their children turn out to be harlots and criminals, and they may also see them grow up without Christ and living a life of sin and then die separated from God. Children need a happy home. They need the security, love, peace, and the contentment that go with a happy marriage and a happy home.

82. Woman had better swallow their pride, take back the bitter words, forgive and be reconciled, to the husband, if that is at all possible, rather than that the children should grow up without a father. I speak particularly to women, since ordinarily about 6 out of 7 divorces are obtained by women. Naturally the same thing applies to the man as to the wife. In most cases, the children go with their mothers. So mother, think what a serious responsibility you take upon yourself and what a sin against your children you commit when you break the home and divorce your husband. Economic disaster often follows divorce." Any woman who looks forward to her future security and that of her children should avoid a divorce at almost any cost. Women had also better realize that in most cases divorced men pay alimony and child support very reluctantly, and as soon as possible this support may possibly be reduced or even dropped.

83. Many men skip out, and never pay child support or alimony after the divorce takes place. It is only rarely that any man pays alimony except under legal compulsion. Often the man whose home is broken, fails in business, if he is also supporting a former family, usually he remarries and cannot support two households. It is a foolish woman who thinks she can be secure, demanding regular payments from a former husband, while she goes on her way and accepts no responsibility for his happiness. Men are not made that way, and the disillusionment's, and the unhappiness, only follow most divorces.

84. Many people are not ready for responsibility. The deterioration of character that goes with divorce will often make it impossible for the husband to support the former wife, and in some cases he will not wish to do so. Parents who want to be able to give their children a decent home and education and the comforts and opportunities of life should swallow their pride. They should try their level best to learn to love their mates again, as they did in the beginning. They should rethink their position and avoid divorce if at all possible. Many if not most divorces are economic disasters for both parties, and much of the time it takes place without thought of the children.

85. Divorce is the wreck of your own love and happiness. You may think that when you ceased to love your mate that he or she has suffered great loss, and they really have. But what about your own loss? How bitter, bitter, is the loss of the married couple who has lost their first love! Francis William Bourdillon said,"

 

The night has a thousand eyes, And the day but one;

Yet the light of the bright world dies, with the dying sun.

The mind has a thousand eyes, and the heart one;

Yet the light of a whole life dies, When love is done."

 

86. Suppose you keep your pride intact! Or suppose you say, "I am going to take it for the present time! But, I will get even! Suppose that you let your anger brake your marriage and give up the first love. You have made a bad, bad bargain. You have bitterness and unhappiness and a sense of frustration and failure that will follow you until you die. To at least 9 out of 10 men and women who divorce, I could safely say, "they will regret the hastiness of breaking their marriage vows and ties. It will lead to misery and unhappiness that can be avoided if they are willing to be unselfish and forgiving for their own and their children's sakes.

 

How To Restore Lost love And Happiness In Marriage

87. There is an alternative to divorce. If love has grown cold between husband and wife, If disagreement has taken place of the sweet harmony they expected, and if there is such conflict between mates that the future seems to promise only misery and in sufferable contention, divorce is not the remedy. I promise you faithfully, and will prove my point by the word of God, that there is a way to restore love and happiness in the home. The Bible commands,

88. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, [His Body, that is, " The whole Body of Christ"] and gave Himself for it, {Ephesians 5:25}." [And again Scripture states]...

89. "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself, {Ephesians 5:28}."

90. It is an absolute duty of husbands to love their wives. Not to do so is sin. If God requires husbands to love their wives as a solemn duty, then husbands can love their wives always. God never requires what He does not make possible. The Lord never commands the impossible. His command is that a husband's love for his wife is to be like the love of Jesus for the Body of Christ. It is to be an unselfish and holy love even for those who may not deserve it! The Lord's family of Saints are so frail, weak and sinful that it is only by His mercy and goodness that makes Him love us. Likewise, older women are commanded: Scripture...

91. "that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, {Titus 2:4}."

92. Wives who do not love their husbands may be taught to do so! Therefore, no wife should think that divorce or continued unhappiness with her husband is inevitable. She can learn to love her husband again, and he can also learn to love her as he once did. Often times wives whose lives have been made bitter by a husband's sin, abuse and neglect, have learned to love their husbands with a deeper, more abiding love than that which thrilled their hearts in courtship days. God never commands the impossible. The Scriptures plainly forbids the breaking of marriage ...

93. "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives ... , {1- Corinthians 7:39}." Scripture ...

94. "And to the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, let not the wife depart from the husband, {1- Corinthians 7:10}."

95. Also the women that is married to a husband, she isn't to leave him, {Read 1- Corinthians 7:13}.

96. If the Lord insists that the home must go on, then a loving God will give grace for the problems of the home and grace to meet the temptations and troubles that married life brings.

97. A married person should ask God for a holy love toward the mate. It may seem that human measures cannot restore the shattered love. It may be that sin has made all that once seemed fine and beautiful and sweet into a shamble, into a wreck and ruin. Can a woman love a wife beater, a woman chaser, a bleary- eyed drunkard the same as she loved the strong, happy young man who won her years ago? Can a man love the profane, nagging shrew with bitter face as he loved the same woman when she was a fair faced girl with loving words and kind heart?

98. My answer is, that God will help people that will try to help themselves, to love those they ought to love. Go to the Lord in prayer and ask Him to restore in you a loving heart! One asks, "can there be love without respect?" "Christ loves sinners who do not and cannot deserve His respect, are you better or smarter than Christ?" Many a mother loves a drunken, dirty unshaved, profane son, and daughter loves them all the more passionately because they have broken her heart so many times. Love that is unselfish, love that is godly, can be deep and powerful, even where there is not much room for respect."

99. Unselfish love, love that longs to bless, love that holds on when it is spurned and despised, is the kind that Jesus can give and maintain, when the unity of husband and wife has been broken by sin. So all I can say to husband and wife in the home where happiness is threatened, go to God the Father in earnest prayer. Ask Him to give you a loving heart that will love those you ought to love, however far short they have come of your ideal, how ever much they have abused your kindness and have broken your heart.

100. If Christ can put into a refined woman's heart a deep love for heathen savages so that she is willing to leave her native land and live in a far country without conveniences or comforts and die and be buried among savages in order that she might win a few precious souls to her Saviour, could He not help a woman to love an unworthy husband? Or could not the Lord who helps Christian workers to love loathsome lepers with misshapen bodies and stinking sores, teach a husband to love his unlovely wife? Jesus commanded: Scripture ...

101. "But I say to you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you, {Matthew 5:44}."

102. Since Christians are commanded to love their enemies and pray for them, we should all be aware that the Holy Spirit can help a wife to love her husband who has beaten her. Or He can help a husband to love a wife who has failed, nagged and made his home a hell on earth? So go to the Father in prayer, In Jesus name, beseech Him to put in your heart the love that a Christian wife or husband should have for each other. Always the Lord can restore the love and happiness of marriage if folks are willing to travel His path and maintain the marriage instead of taking the poor way out by divorce.

 

What About Christians Who Are Self Appointed Judges, Who Continually Judge Other Christians?

103. Answer ... There are certain pious people in every congregation who believe that they are God called judges. They believe that they are called to judge fellow Christians, when actually, they should only judge themselves according to God's Word. There are certain preachers, deacons and elders who have in the past, been married, divorced, and remarried and are at the present time holding the office of their calling in various Assemblies.

104. Therefore, those "pious religious Judges," in the Assemblies, seem to continually set in judgment over those who are remarried never forgiving them for their past deeds. Now this is a situation that should always be classified as mistaken ignorance on the part of those who should know better! It is an odd situation when the Lord will forgive a divorced person whether it is a preacher, deacon, elder or a laymen. As a matter of fact, the Lord forgives all sinners! The trouble you see, is even though Christ forgives anybody who ask for forgiveness, those self appointed judges in the different Churches never forgive their own brethren! Yet these folks look upon themselves as being good Christians, yet they do not have a forgiving heart.

105. It is true that {1- Timothy 3:1-13}, gives the order for bishops which are in the same category as the ministers of the age we presently live in. It is also true that this text states that a minister is to be the husband of one wife. But, the text does not state that the minister cannot hold this office if he has ever been divorced! It would be wise for the Christian to study a great deal of history so that they might better understand what the Bible really teaches.

106. From the time of Abraham to the Acts Period and the beginning of the Body of Christ period, many men possessed not only one or more wives but one or more concubines. So, therefore, a man with two wives, or, perhaps four wives and five concubines that shared his bed as he desired, was not suitable even to be a Christian much less to be a preacher unless he became a one wife man. Now personally, I don't, nor do I believe that the reader can think of an acquaintance, whether it is a deacon or minister, that presently has two or more wives.

107. In this age as well as that forgone age, a born again Believer could and presently can have their sins cast away as far as the east is from the west, {See Psalm 103:12}. Surely, you as a Saint of God are aware that Christ paid the supreme penalty on the cross for each and every sin we have all committed! If you do not know this, we must suggest that you read your Bible and especially what the Apostle Paul wrote for us that concerns this dispensation.

108. Now since Christ has paid the whole price for all our sins, this means that the sins of every minister can be set aside when he confesses those sins to the Father. And, this means all his sins! There has been several honest ministers and other Christian workers who have been forced to leave various Churches because they have been divorced. Many of these Christian folks had been married before they were to later become Children of God and then called as ministers. What about the Apostle Paul, wasn't he a heathen Christ rejecter? Did he not have countless Christians slaughtered in order to erase Christianity from the earth? Did he not call himself the Chief of sinners? And yet, the Lord saved his soul on the road to Damascus, and he became the greatest Minister in the world, accepting of course, Christ Himself.

109. Sin is sin. There isn't a person who has ever been born who was not born a sinner. You say, well my former Pasteur was found out to have been married and divorced before he became a minister. He then became a Christian and remarried and was called into the ministry, so he said. but we found out about his having been divorced and being remarried so we voted him out of our Church. The question I must ask you, is, who gave you the authority to vote this fellow Believer, this God called Minister out of the work that the Lord Himself called him into? Could it possibly have been the Lord Himself that sent that Minister to your Assembly like He sent Paul to the Body of Christ???

110. The man had been saved and all his past sins had been forgiven on the cross of Calvary. The moment he became a Child of God his past life had ended and his office of ministry had just begun. The Apostle Paul's ministerial office concerning his future Ministry begun when he was saved from the clutches of Satan on the road to Damascus. Are you or any other person called to be a judge of a Christian who is not presently living in sin and has been called into office by the Lord? I thank not. Could you say that the Apostle Paul was a better Christian than some other sinner who has become a Believer and has been called today into the office of a minister? Again, I think not.

111. If your God called Minister should have been kicked out of your Assembly then perhaps Paul should have been looked upon as an unfit Believer. Had this been so he should have never been called to write the books in the New Testament that all Believers today look upon as containing doctrine for the Body of Christ during this age. Paul wrote the very Epistles that you and others, are using to condemn Ministers and other Saints because they have been divorced but yet forgiven by the Lord from all their sins. Are you being just, are you being fair? Can you forgive as our Lord commands Christians to forgive? The question is, If this man's wife committed adultery, then he had a God given right to divorce her. She had already chosen another husband, even though this other husband was a common law husband. She had actually annulled her first marriage!

112. Remember this, when our Bible states that a Minister should be the husband of only one wife, this meant that the God called Minister, or any other Saint of God must step aside from other women whether it was other wives or concubines, and have only one wife from then on. When a man did this and followed the dictates laid down by the Word of the Lord, only the Lord Himself is to be the one that condemns or blesses at His will. Concerning Judgment and justice ... We may think we want JUSTICE, What we want is MERCY. If we refuse MERCY here, We shall have JUSTICE in eternity. Scripture ...

113. "For Christ has once suffered for sins, the JUST for the UNJUST that He might bring us to God, {1- Peter 3:18}."    "According To His MERCY He Saved Us, {Titus 3:5}."

114. If the Lord will forgive a murderer, a thief, or other sinners, we assure you, that He will and has forgiven thousands of divorced folks for their mistakes. When a man is forgiven by the Father, then he has just as much right to an office as Pasteur or deacon, as any other man. The Lord has forgiven him, and has cast his sins as far as the east is from the west! What are you going to do? Again read {Psalm 103:12}. When a sin is forgiven, it is no longer remembered by the Lord! When a person is saved, they become a new born baby in Christ Jesus, and their new life begins that very second.

115. In order to be positive of your own Salvation, we would ask you to "Please" read and pray the following prayer and if you really mean in your heart [mind] what you have read and if you have spoken these words in this prayer with a contrite mind to God the Father, at the end of the prayer you will have become a Child of God!

 

The Sinners Prayer...

116. Heavenly Father, I know that I'm a lost sinner and that I cannot save myself by good works. I believe that Jesus Christ is God the Son Who came down from Heaven and took on a human body of flesh and was born of the Virgin Mary. I believe that Jesus shed His blood on the cross of Calvary and died paying the price for my sins with His death so that I can receive salvation because and through His sacrifice.

I believe that after Christ's sacrifice and death, He arose from the tomb after three literal days and nights. That Jesus ascended into the third Heaven to sit at the right hand of God the Father. I believe that Jesus will return for all Saints who belong to the Body of Christ, according to His own promise!

I know that I have been up to this time a lost sinner and deserved to go to hell. So I beseech you Heavenly Father, send your Holy Spirit at this very moment into my Heart and save me for Jesus Christ sake as has been promised me by Your Holy Word. I am receiving Jesus Christ at this very moment as my personal Saviour, my Lord and as my only blessed hope for salvation. Thank You Lord for now I am saved by Your wonderful grace. Amen!

 

Scripture ...

117. "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have ever- lasting life. For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved, {John 3:16-17}."

118. "For by grace are you saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast [glory], {Ephesians 2:8-9}."

119. "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God has prepared for them that love Him. But God has revealed them to us by His [Holy] Spirit, for the Spirit searches all things, yes the deep things of God, {1- Corinthians 2:9-10}."

 

120. Signed------------------------------------------------- Date-----------------------------

 

In regards to our readers, we would deeply express our thanks to those who will recopy this message and pass it on to others that they too may find Salvation from it.

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